Energy + Awareness


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The story of energy and awareness

I’ve been spending some time unplugged and attuning to my emotions and “feeling.”

I’ve been inspired by a quote from the film “Lucy” in my Ascension Videos where Morgan Freeman’s character says,

“We humans are more concerned with having than with being.”


I decided to do a personal “light review” for the past 7 years. A light review is what happens once you leave this reality. You have a light review in your “book of life” and look at all the experiences and what knowledge and wisdom you gained from the overall experience. So I’m doing the same but a little smaller scale for the past 7 years.

I’d like to share with you some of my experiences and why they were helpful in understanding myself and reality. It’s amazing that we live in a time where we can share all these experiences fully online. I want to be an example and use FIFTY8 to show others how these type of sessions from these methods could help you on your inner journey. For me it’s exciting to try new things especially if they are expansive to my awareness. So I wanted to share to give others a little motivation if you are unsure where to start on your inner journey. These are some tools and practices that have helped me but everyone has their own journey to take, their own path. I want to be as transparent as possible as I feel it’s my responsibility as a human who is striving to change consciousness in media to be an example and only share content that is purposeful and empowering. To serve in inner harmony.


So this is my story of integrating my energy of polarity consciousness to Christ Consciousness.


In 2012 I moved to Brooklyn, NY from Chicago with my girlfriend. Prior to this time I was very unawakened to anything spiritual besides meditation, yoga and religion. I was fully invested into the physical, shooting fashion/portraiture/lifestyle in photography and video. Beauty and stories inspired me, all things outside of myself. It was at this time I started reading Dolores Cannon and investing into my own consciousness and healing. This was also the time I really experienced the unconscious power of my subconscious and using my energy to manifest a new life for myself and my girlfriend. Something was happening inside of me to create a new desire and dream. There was a lot of contrast building that guided me to a new desire of exactly what I wanted.

I was becoming “awakened” at this time. My “code” was activated.

From 2012-2017, I was reading all of Dolores Cannon’s books and as much knowledge as I could handle. I was reading a lot because I began traveling back and forth from NYC to Chicago. It was at this time I began really diving into conspiracy theories and politics along with spiritual communities and websites. I was super naive at this time and got excited by a lot of fear based vibrational information. I now see how I just gave my power away to all these disclosure “reveals” instead of my own path. I also used this time to research websites and how people shared this information and knowledge visually. It frustrated me that these websites with a ton of knowledge and theories lacked beauty and design. So it was challenging for me to take them seriously. I wanted to create something to change that. So I started to do this inner work with the help and support from my girlfriend, who kept me in line and focused.


At this time FIFTY8 was growing and developing to be a conceptual and minimalist fashion magazine. But that began to evolve and change. After reading Dolores Cannon’s books I started doing 4 QHHT Sessions. This was around 2017. The first one was with one of the most experienced practitioners, Andy Sway and the last 3 with a less experienced practitioner Tim Feeley, all trained by the Dolores Cannon method. It was in these sessions where I discovered my inner world and the beginning of my enthusiasm of knowledge. I would say my first session was the most eye opening, as it was my first, but the other sessions where much more in depth. My first session showed me past lives as a Wholly Mammoth, Egyptian Engineer and an image of welcoming a UFO at Stonehenge. This was also another experience where I saw a dolphin and lion headed being in a spaceship, which I also see in my dreams. Since then I’ve understood all these experiences from a deeper understanding of my subconscious mind. In my case, I was seeing all the imagery and experiences from other lives that were still hanging around in my subconscious.


I’ve also deeply experienced my soul’s evolution in a meditation where I was experiencing being all forms of life on Earth. From an element, plant, tree, insect, fish, bird, mammal etc. It was an amazing experience and at the end of it, the energy was such a surge to my crown, I felt like I was going to pass out. I pulled myself out of the energy and had to lay down. It was so powerful, I thought I was going to pass out. It was scary, and unlike anything I’ve experienced.

It was also at this time I was meditating daily. At least 1-2 hours a day. First thing in the morning and right before bed. I spent a lot of time in silence. It was also at this time I was experiencing lots of energy in my meditations and making contact. One night in meditation I was listening to some music to help me go into my trance. Suddenly, I felt an energy behind me slowly hug me. It was the warmest and most loving hug but yet I knew no one was behind me. This was the first time I was bawling in a meditation. It was my first blissful and powerful, loving experience. I didn’t really know what it was at first. It was full of warmth and an energy with so much love and compassion sharing it’s love for me. Since then I’ve been seeking to know what that experience meant for me. I was soon to find out.


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Then in August of 2017, I attended my first event. This one was called The Agartha to Humanity Symposium with Tamarinda Maassen, an Ambassador to Agartha. Agartha is Inner Earth. This was the first time I’ve ever heard anyone being an ambassador to an Inner Earth reality. I knew of it from my conspiracy research but I never really talked to anyone about it. At first I wasn’t available to attend this event due to a photo/video job I had in Puerto Rico. But a week prior, my client had to cancel. It felt like I was meant to be there and little did I know this event was going to change my life.


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The first time I met with Tamarinda, she walked into the conference room and stared everyone in the eye. It was her way of introducing herself energetically. I was the first person she looked at. It was strange but comforting for me as I like eye contact, but her reaction was a little shocked and surprised. I noticed she didn’t have that reaction to anyone else at the Symposium, so it is still curious to me. Maybe she saw us having a future together.

Her son Teodor was also present as a translator. He is also an initiated Tibetan Monk with over 20 years experience in Monasteries and Tamarinda’s Mystery School in Romania. Tamarinda has an Ancient School of Wisdom which is The Ancient School of Ascended Masters from Tibet. It is about the Ancient foundations of God, about Humanity, and the greatness of this world. I plan to attend this school at the end of July. I’m looking to raise funds, if you’d like to support, you may do so here: DONATE.

After sharing 3 intense days of knowledge and mind blowing information, it was at the end of the event that stayed with me the most. At the end of the event, Tamarinda had everyone stand and hold hands. She then told everyone that this was a cosmic event and that she looked through all our future timelines and saw everyone here doing something amazing for humanity. She told us that this is now the time to have a feminine Christ Consciousness and this event was the beginning of a 7 year disclosure program. There was much more said, but the energy was all about the knowingness of God and becoming God. The energy from the weekend was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I couldn’t stop crying on the way home, such tears of joy and remembrance.


The next day I had a private healing session with Tamarinda’s high frequency devices and was able to ask her some questions. I was there as a media representative for FIFTY8 so I was interested to know more about her school and anything she wanted to tell me. She sat down across from me with her son Teodor translating and then looked into my auric field.

“In the future you will be working with celebrities and in the media/press.

In the future it will be much different than it is today.”

That blew me away as the night before I had a dream that I was hanging out with Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt and we were talking about future collaborations in a very friendly and casual way. I told her about it and asked her what that dream meant.

“Last night 5 realities collapsed. so your dream, you saw a future timeline.

In the future you will have 2 children. They are in your auric field. But they will be from 2 mothers.”

She then told me some more information about how babies are born.

“Before you have a baby, the spirit of your baby will be in the Auric field of the mother and father and influence them to come together.  When the baby is "conceived" that spirit will then prepare and help the mother and father's life to improve and provide a home, more food, money etc. until they are ready to enter this reality.”

I was still digesting all of this and then she told me…

“When you write this article, people will comment and want to know about your experience and the knowledge.”

Then she told me about the energy we are all experiencing.

“In 2 months an energy of black and white will come to give people life and purpose.

Some will choose black and some will choose white.

White will be the future and you will be apart of it. so write your article.”

She then smiled gave me a hug and I parted wondering what I just experienced. It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced or read about personally. I felt a deep connection to myself and had a new purpose and mission. I felt energized and extremely motivated. It was at this time I decided to completely re-do FIFTY8 into a new platform for curated knowledge for empowering your mind. I then created what FIFTY8 is today in less than 7 days.


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Since then I did another QHHT session where I learned that I am a Nagual, “in Mesoamerican folk religion, a nagual or nahual is a human being who has the power to transform, shape-shift beyond the premisses of the human form; most often believed to be an animal form.” This also means that I am more spirit than human. This was also confirmed by a reading I did with Eva Marquez.

She told me about my 2 previous lives as a young 12 year old Jewish boy in a concentration camp who was raped and broken. I later died in a gas chamber. The next life I was a hippie and died around 25 years old due to an overdose. These experiences taught me why I tend to not trust a lot of men over women. I also did a meditation where I went back to Sirius and saw beings of light, guides, children and animals I cherished.


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I also saw a garden where I reviewed my “Book of Life.” She also confirmed my Energy Power Center in my Third Eye Chakra and Heart Chakra. This is also a challenge as I have to balance the two, as most of the time I am in my mind and tend to find myself being like a psychic spy and trying to read people.

This was confirmed when I went to a Tarot Reading with my best friends in Chicago and the reader suddenly shifted her focus from my friend to me and started to interrogate me, without knowing a thing about me. She thought I was there to take something from her, which reminded her of her past that sounded very painful. I just listened to her story and told her that I’m not interested in taking anything from her. She kept asking me, “What do you do?” I told her I help people connect to their soul. She kept telling me that I was there for another reason, but I told her I just came for my friends birthday. But then she told me, “Whatever you are going to do, everyone will be like Bravo.” So there was something she saw about my future, which in meditation I am starting to see as well.


The reading was for my friend, so it was a shock to me. But also an experience that motivated me to keep this work going and help others connect to their soul. I also attended my first workshop called Awakening the Illuminated Heart Workshop by Drunvalo Melchizedek toward the end of 2017. I highly recommend this workshop, as it activated my Merkaba and opened up my heart chakra and was intensely healing. The meditation exercises were some of my favorites. I learned so much about the power of the heart and activated my “beams of light” aka “human halo.” I also got to meet a wonderful teacher and now dear friend RaLuca Heim.

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It was at this time I was “spinning” and meditating everyday for at least 2-3 hours. I made it my priority and started to have visions and images of another life or parallel reality. I felt like I was connecting to my spirit and looking at life in a much more profound and lucid way. I was learning how to look at my reality as a mirror of my subconscious and to see God in everyone. I was becoming lucid in my own reality/dream. I was also having intense and vivid dreams of pulling “goo” out of my finger and seeing ET beings on a ship and a heightened sense of awareness which I did not have before. But there was some knowledge missing that I couldn’t find anywhere regarding Ascension.


Since then I got a chance to meet Alba Weinman and interview her which led to a session with her. My session was about fear of my power. This fear came from a past life in Atlantis and knowing my power and influence led to destruction and death. In this session I had an inner connection to my ego and energetically felt how to now deal with my fear. There was a lot I learned about myself in this session that started to change my paradigm. I learned about my own abductions since childhood and my connection to Sirius, Arcturus and the Zeta’s. My limited mind was beginning to expand and extend to the expanse of the Universe. I got to visit my “Book of Light” again and some light language that was written in it. It was a very empowering session as I was learning the programs residing in my subconscious. It is also curious as my birthday is on the 16 = 7 and my session was labeled 250 = 7. More messages.


It was at this time I began attaining more information regarding soulmates/twin flames. The purpose of this information was to be used for my feature film. My intention is to make a feature film where anyone who watches it will then be able to find their soul mate. So with that goal in mind, I feel that I have to live it, experience it and be responsible about my intention. How can I make a film like that if I didn’t know my soul mate or twin flame? It was at this time I was guided to Dr. Harmony - the Twin Flame Expert.

I’ve been searching for my twin flame for lifetimes and have surrendered to this process in order to heal and do the work to forgive myself and have come out on the other side a new man.  


Then I met Debbie Solaris, now a dear friend and fellow Arcturian soul. I did an Akashic Reading with her and learned that it was in Atlantis I lost my Twin Flame/Soulmate due to an accident I was responsible for. After my session I released a lot of energy (cried for hours) and felt like I was on the path of healing.

A lot of my attitudes and behavior was around saving people from themselves, something that was meant more for me than anyone outside of me. These are all examples of my subconscious mind bringing up lives and energy that needed to be transmuted into my conscious mind and reality. These are all existing in my subconscious and with these type of sessions, it brings them out to be healed, forgiven and released. Then it brings transformation and more energy.


Then in 2018 Tamarinda and Teodor came back to NYC.

I felt I learned so much since the last time I saw them and was so excited to learn more and be with them. Their energy is always very pleasant and informative with a very motherly and tender energy. This was also the 2nd event of the 7 year disclosure program, so I was excited to hear what she had to share. Most of the information was about Ascension from the knowledge of Tibet. Some of that information can be found here: ASCENSION.

There was many things shared that contradicted a lot of information in spiritual communities and helped me to discern what was needed for me on my own ascension journey. Here are some of my favorite revelations and disclosures regarding spirituality.

“No one channels anyone, they are just imagining it. It is only popular because you can make money.

People create “guides” to create self importance. You are Gods, not guides. Listen to yourself.

hypnosis and regression are ways to hypnotize yourself and allow holograms to be implanted.

they bring you back to a past experience that lowers your frequency.”

Tamarinda shared more about the teachings at her school. She teaches you to become your double/spirit so you can exit this reality and go to another. Your spirit is your auric field which holds your physical body together. She teaches the idea of human potential and the truth about this reality. We are here on this plane to experience and create. But we have forgotten who we are. This information is about the Science of Ascended Masters which is over 2 million years old. It is misunderstood because it is so ancient.


We aren’t here to change this reality, but to change ourselves.

when you interfere with this reality, you have no idea who you are messing with.

this reality is like a holiday and you picked this body.

The greatest gift we can give to humanity, isn’t to fix anything but to have children and raise an aware God.

YOU DECIDED TO COME HERE WITH AN IDEA.  

YOU ARE A LUCID BEING, KNOW YOUR MISSION AND PURPOSE TO CONNECT TO YOUR DOUBLE.

REALITY IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS, WHEN YOU DIE IT’S LIKE WAKING UP FROM A NIGHTMARE, “OH SO HAPPY THAT WASN’T REAL.”  

YOUR REALITY ONLY EXISTS IN YOUR MIND.

This reality is a hologram that exists in your mind.

It is a school of self, to overcome the self.

a school of freedom from control.


She also answered a lot of questions regarding politics and Trump. She told us that what we see is just a scripted show. It’s like when a new sports team has a new coach and decides to change up the entire management and team. That is what is happening and to not get distracted by it. Focus on your energy and vibration. But nothing will really change, in the future look for a mix of capitalism and socialism. Our guns might be taken away and there could be a financial crash later in 2019. Voting is an illusion. They already know the next 3 Presidents with an agenda. Each President represents the nation, no matter who. They all know they were going to be President. All rulers are known before they are born. Competition is natural here. She then told us a little about the future.

there are 2.5 billion people, 5 billion are projections - a copy of someone.

there are many beings without a soul, the rest are just matter.

In the future, there will be beings who can live up to 500-800 years old.

in less than hundreds of days, the event will be coming.

The last 2 bits of information really resonated inside of me. There was something with a deep knowing that was meant for me to know.


Teodor then did a presentation on Ancient Tibetan teachings and initiated us in the Sacred Geometry of the Divine Being and more. I learned about Llamas, Shamans, Naguals and Monks. We also learned about Jesus, Chakras, Sigilius, Mandalas, Tantra, Runes and Alchemy. It was a lot of knowledge and information which I’m still integrating.

After the weekend and absorbing all of this knowledge, I then had another private session with Tamarinda and Teodor. I asked Tamarinda about my energy and she told me that I am Anunnaki and Andromedan, even though I was also told I had Arcturian and Sirian guides. I also told her about my experience of being “hugged” by an energy. I asked her what that was because I also heard a female voice in my mind prior to the event. She told me that energy and voice was my future child. The energy that hugged me was my child who is waiting in my auric field to be born. A beautiful sentiment and feeling of warmth rushed over me when she said it.

I then asked her if this reality is ourselves pushed out and if being adopted was an illusion or karmic experience?


She replied…

“you are asian because in your past life you judged koreans. that is why you are adopted and in america.

when you know that your reality is yourself pushed out, that is the first step in christ consciousness.”

If you didn’t know, I am adopted. I also told her that recently my Dad was diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis  and what that meant for me.

“he is sick because he represents your ancestry. you judged koreans.

if you can heal and release judgement, then Maybe he doesn’t have to die.”

I then asked her about my visions in meditation and the emotions I feel in that state.

“That is christ consciousness. seeing visions.”

When you talked about this event, is this Ascension?

“yes.”

Will I be one of those beings that will be 500-800 years old?

“yes.”

So these dreams, visions and films I’m going to be doing…

“that is your destiny.”

She then hugged me and said…

“welcome home.”

Today, those words still give me chills. I still am coming into terms what that means to me and my journey. It was at this time I was inspired to create my Ascension Films. I’ve always thought movies were speaking to me with a deeper message hidden in them waiting to be put together. So I put my favorite moments into 2 films about The Dark/Light of this reality and what Ascension is really about. For those ready to hear it and understand it, then I highly recommend watching it to expand and heal your consciousness.



Since September 2019-March 2019 I began to read and study the teachings of Ramtha. I find his information to be extremely deep and powerful. It is also along the lines of “You are God” and learning to love yourself. I also feel at this time, I got distracted by attaining knowledge and wasn’t connecting to my heart. I became obsessed with reading all of his books and taking time away from making money and being social. I was beginning a very lonesome journey and I was more interested in having than being.

I got to see Tamarinda and Teodor again when they came back to NYC in March. They told us about Aliens/ET’s and their message to humanity. Some of that info was guided to me prior to seeing them, that I put together in a feature called, Understanding ET Contact.


I learned that there are external aliens and internal aliens. There are ET’s inside of us as subatomic parasites that influence our thoughts and energy. This information extremely opened up my consciousness and expanded my world. We are all “tagged” by the ones who run this reality. We are used for our life force until we become aware that we are God. We are destined to die unless you start loving yourself. They will play with us like children until we take our power back. In order to Ascend we must be able to remove our “tag” and remove our personality. We must learn to love ourselves and enemies enough to transcend this reality of the dark, limited and physical dimension.

This knowledge is why I want to attend Tamarinda’s Ancient School of Wisdom in Romania. I want to be able to share this information on this platform to help others remember who they are and to empower others. I also want to help others with fear and how to conquer it and realize their true power.

If you appreciate the information and would like to keep supporting my mission and trip to Romania feel free to donate below. I sincerely thank you!


I hope reading this has helped and opened you up to the experiences of this reality and what is possible by working on yourself.

If you need any help, I’m always at your service. Please feel free to share your own journey below.

I thank the Universe/Source for every experience I’ve had. As I now know they are leading me to my highest good and highest version of myself and my evolution as spirit. As creation. I surrender to the here and now. Knowing what I can create out of my heart and not of the mind/ego. I have a heart centered reality.